So a 3 year old child shows me he is afraid to balance on a log and in need of my help. I give him encouragement and hold his hand to keep his balance. I know that with practice he CAN and WILL balance on that log and achieve what he hadn't been able to do before. The child is simply afraid of feeling unsteady, possibly falling and hurting himself.
Does this sound familiar? I know for certain as adults we still have these fears. Okay the fear may not be a log but the log has now become the fear of spiders, flying on a plane, going to an interview, changing careers, falling in love...you see my point. It is fear that hinders us in doing what we want or need to do.
We have all faced a time when we wanted to make a change and yet we were gripped by the fear of uncertainty or failure. We thought that changing anything in our stable, secure environment will be catastrophic and affect us and others in so many ways. We find ourselves feeling this fear despite the niggling thought we have of wanting to change something in our life.
Fear hinders us from doing the things we want or getting what we need in life. Just because fear exists it doesn't mean that is how it will always be or how it should be. You have the ability to take control of the thoughts that are rattling around in your head. You can achieve that which you think (note to self: YOU THINK) is unachievable! Sometimes merely saying this will not be effective as we can always say "I am in control of my life" and yet we find ourselves 10 years later in the same position or mind frame that we are in now.
How about taking action! Sometimes you have to stop thinking about it, take a leap of faith and just do it! Taking that first step will be the hardest but you will find yourself wondering why you hadn't for instance:
- joined the gym
- made new friends
- gone back to school
- changed career
- took on a senior role
- took that course
- signed up to online
dating
- gone on a date
- asked an important
question
- been honest
- moved in with your
partner/lived alone
- moved country
- become fitter/ate
what you liked
- given someone a
compliment/taken a compliment
- told others "I
love you"
Let us go back to the little boy balancing on the log. Without trying to step out of his comfort zone, stepping into the unknown and facing his fear he would not have realised how easy it was to balance on that log. As a teacher I see children with all sorts of fears and they are no different to what we still fear as adults. However children do not have as much past experience or “baggage” as we do and therefore with a little encouragement you'll see them fly!
For us adults we have to unpick our own layers, understand what it is that stops us in our tracks, accept it and teach ourselves to believe that it no longer takes control over our life. Once we do this we can start adding ‘layers of confidence’ to our self in order to feel empowered and do whatever it is that we need in order to get to where we want to be in our life.
Note to self: Take control, be fearless and see how you can expand your perspective on life by knocking down those walls you have built and creating the life you need.
Tip: List those things you want or need to do but that consume you with fear. Now put these in order of severity for you. Start with the more simple fears and slowly work your way towards conquering those bigger fears.
How do you feel afterwards? Was it as bad as you thought it would be?
