Stillness speaks...

Make space for your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Take time to refocus, re-evaluate, to acknowledge what has been done and to release any disappointments or negativity.

Forgive yourself, forgive others and give yourself more of this. More peace.

Stillness speaks, it provides for you, it fills you up. Let stillness speak to you. Let it take over, distractions will always be there and possibly stop you from being present with your real self. The one you may be ignoring out of fear of pain. Fear has no place for you apart from inspiring you to feel love instead.

Make a space for yourself, something that soothes you, helps you, creates peace inside of you, connecting you to greatness.

It doesn't need to be a shrine like mine, it could be anything that makes sense to you and settles you down soothing your soul.

Wishing tree...

Some Instagram snaps from the Southbank Centre, one of my favourite meeting points to work with clients!

Being in sync with my client is always a good start

The Wishing Tree 

(It was actually 67 Small Acts for Big Change)

Loved seeing this display. It was a tree of wishes, affirmations, hopes and dreams. So many of us feel the same about what we want for ourselves, for others and for the world. 

Some of these made me laugh. Go check it out at the Southbank Centre. 

These are some of my favourite messages from some Londoners.

1. Do the right thing even when no one is looking

2. Break up with both stress and fear once and for all.

3. Spread love

4. Smile

5. Buy fewer shoes! (Nice one!)

It's never too late...

Hanging with Me, Myself and I in Manchester ready for more training.

So many times I have stopped myself from learning something new because I felt it was too late, I was too old, it will take too long, what would 'they' think, what if I fail? Who bleeding cares...right?

One day you wake up and 10 years have past. You realise you STILL think of doing those things and are shocked to think that you could of done all of them in those 10 years.

Do not worry about age, time...do what you dream, fulfil your vision because if you dream of it constantly it is important to you, it may be something you have to do. 

Have no fear, do not let time pass without doing what you needed for yourself or others. Teach yourself to just do it! Life waits for no one. Even now, even if you have been dreaming for a decade don't worry about it, go book that course, start that dance class, live abroad whatever it is just get on with it. 

However far you go, you did it, you learned, you experienced but most importantly you were fearless. Live without fear x

Liking the truth in this quote right now... 

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever"

Mahatma Gandhi

Coaching in London again!

Southbank Centre, Waterloo

Met a client surrounded by love... #Love
#Love yourself
#Love yourself enough
#You are enough

My thoughts for my beautiful client and you

When you find one door closing and another door opening (even if very slight) stay brave and gently ease yourself through. You can do what you always wanted to do. You can do what you want to do right now. In this moment. Do it with a smile, with peace in your heart knowing that you are in the place you were meant to be. Do not wait for others to give you permission to fulfill your dreams. You can do that. If they hold you back, keep moving on. You are enough Xx

Happiness Club: Let's face the Music and Dance

Happiness club: Exercise

Can you think of a time when you knew you had been procrastinating and were just not ready (so to speak) ’to face the music and dance’? This is how I was feeling about The Happiness Club this month as I knew I failed to relate to the others the way I would have hoped and was trying to avoid our next topic, exercise (something that simply ceased to exist for about a month or so).

The irony is that when we feel down or stressed we think we will be safer and more sane if we retreat in to a quieter world only to find ourselves feeling worse off and isolated from the world around us. Instead of keeping active whether that be, connecting with friends or exercising, we may find we are circling the same monotonous routine because we just do not feel up to it. But this can become a habit and we find ourselves wondering, when did I last have fun with my friends? or when did I last exercise? Although it is good to have time out from ‘life’ once in a while, separating ourselves from the things that make us feel good seems silly, but we still do it. Of course life happens and we do what we feel is right in the moment.

Hindsight is a beautiful thing because it reminds us that next time we find ourself slipping away we could make sure we don't leave it too long to do those things that actually make us feel good.

So as I felt a little guilty for not relating last month I was pleasantly surprised (it is always nice to feel like you are not the only one) that we all felt it was a little bit of a failure for us in terms of doing more things together as we had done in the first few months here.

We realised that although we have not been connecting as much, we have been relating more to family who have visited and also to ourselves. This has involved contemplating some tough questions regarding our purpose, our future aspirations. Some of us have realised that Singapore is more like home to us and that we prefer to live in a tropical climate. Having time to relate to ourselves last month was important despite our reservations it wasn’t with each other.

This months topic on exercise left the group in a little divide. Half of the group have been actively exercising at least twice a week whereas the other half (I am in this group) have not made exercise a priority allowing work, projects or ‘whatever other excuse we could think of’ get in the way. So we kept apologising to our ‘fit’ members when answering the questions especially when it came to setting goals.

As we begun our topic on exercise an outdoor fitness class began below the cafe we were at. I could be making this up but I'm not. Apparently they do this often in this mall. It was a great way to start our evening and got us wondering why we chose to sit at ‘I Bake’ eating cake instead of kick starting our evening with some physical activity that involved our whole body!

The BIG Problem: THE MIND

When we first got to Singapore we were swimming or taking part in exercise regularly. Being active at least 3 times a week had begun feeling necessary as part of our weekly routine. So it was hard to accept that for some of us this was becoming a distant memory.

For those of us not exercising as much, we knew the biggest reason for this was simply, ourselves. One member described it as being ‘defeated by our mind’. Sure, there were factors/excuses such as, our partners were our workout buddies who gave us the motivation we needed. If they worked late and were too tired after work we would allow this to become our excuse. We found it difficult to workout in the evenings, on our own, at the gym etc. Whatever the reason the fact was that we simply allowed the excuses to take over and as a result got comfortable with fitness taking a back seat.

Thoughts and Goals!

• When thinking of the last time we exercised: Being in a country like Singapore guarantees you swimming at least once a week so it didn't make us feel too bad. However, it was the quantity and consistency that had let some of us down which we wanted to focus on.
• Outdoor exercise is endless here and collectively we have taken up tennis, basketball, swimming, hiking, cycling, skating or rollerblading. We know we can do more of at least one of these exercises a week!
• We didn’t want to give ourselves a hard time and realised that even though exercising regularly wasn’t happening consciously, walking more could easily be done.
• With the discounts it offers, Groupon is a great way to get people motivated to exercise in different ways. We thought it would be fun signing up to pole dancing which judging by my friends pictures gets you working on your whole body. She also looked amazing doing it and said it was a lot of fun. That got us inspired and some have already booked classes!
• The runner of our group considered looking into a 10k run to challenge herself more.

Whether we have not exercised for a month or have been working out a few times a week we know there are always ways to up our pace and take part in more fitness. Here is to a more healthy, active month! Time to toughen ourselves up, tone up and feel fabulous!

Peace within leads to peace with others

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
Peace pilgrim

Finding peace within ourselves does not need to be seen as a final outcome. It may never be because life is changing all the time, we change, others change and we are tested and challenged all the time.

I like to think of this quote as more of a reminder for us when we have good or bad times. It is a reminder to know that when we have those moments of peace within let us reflect on how it positively affects others and take notice of it so that it pops in to our reality more often.

Also reflect on how horrible our experiences are when we are not 'feeling at peace' or love ourselves enough.

Love yourself
You are enough

They are enough
Love them too.

Happiness Club: Relating to YOU = Relating to others!

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”

Peace pilgrim

Month of Giving

Before we started our new topic, we explored how the previous month made us feel. At first we felt a little stressed to consciously be aware of ‘giving’ more. Ironically, slightly 'forcing' ourselves to look at how we give and what else we could do created a positive intention for the month. The topic of giving made us aware of the opportunities that came along to give that little bit more and reminded us of what we already do. So whether it was beginning to recycle, volunteering to help our friends with business projects, supporting our partners or buying a homeless man some food (although he did not appreciate this) we found the act of giving made us feel better about ourselves. 

When we became aware of our actions and the positive affect they had on others we automatically felt better about ourselves. It also made us aware of how others give to us and how lovely it can feel to take without feeling guilty! ;)

Relating at home

When you are in a new country surrounded by a new culture relating becomes fundamental in creating a life that makes you happy in your new home. The main connection most of us have here is our other halves. Relating is something we assume we do with them all the time. But life takes over and if we look closely ‘relating’, ‘connecting’ with each other is put on the back burner. It requires us to be present, in the moment, listening and reaching out to each other in some way. Whether this be a conversation or going on an adventure together it creates a deeper connection then for instance going about our daily routines and chores.  

Relating with others

Relating to others can be quite an anxious experience for many. Some of us do not find it easy to relate to others and it can take a little bit of time and effort. This is especially true for new friendships/relationships or those that have gotten a little stale.

For our second meeting we decided to meet in a ‘girly’ cafe (this was quite fitting seen as the group consists of females) where we could order cake instead of bake one (which we enjoyed doing last month).

Here is what we talked about when answering the questions.

1. Connecting, relating and experiencing together!

Common ground

We have all been there when we have sighed with relief 'phew, they are like me' or become ecstatic to have found friends, colleagues or clients we just clicked with. Finding others with common interests makes us feel comfortable and at ease. The thought of standing there with nothing in common sends us in to an awkward frenzy. It is uncomfortable having to listen to each other if we have no interest in what we are sharing. Just the thought of this scenario makes me cringe a little remembering times I have experienced standing with others who seemed alien to me. Sounds harsh but you know you have been there too…or maybe you haven’t.

Having said that it is good to think about this in another way just so we can be sure we are not overlooking each other based on not having some common ground. Do we become a little self righteous and assume our way of being and our interests are 'better' than the others if we do not have common ground? Do we automatically look down on anyone else who does not fit in to our category of what is ‘cool’, ‘normal’, ‘the way people should be’? or Does the thought of not having much in common scare us more then the reality of the situation? 

Whether in a professional or personal capacity feeling connected comes from being willing to share and experience together. In order to do this, we may be required to be a little bit more vulnerable and less judgemental.

Similar Values

We agreed that values were extremely important to us in forming connections. Sometimes we may not be sure what these values are often assuming our familiar group of friends are ‘our kind of people’. When we meet others with similar values it could actually be a good wake up call especially when we find ourselves hanging with the 'wrong' kind of people. The 'right' ones remind you of what you are about and who you want in your life. It is almost as if you have found a new family. Like a 'love at first sight' for friendships the joy of connecting with others at this level feels deep rooted. Even if someone seems completely opposite to you (in terms of personal interests) if you have similar values you click with them straight away. Having said that and from our discussion on this, it all depends on the individual and what they want from a friendship/relationship.

2. Disconnected

We all used our family as an example of recently feeling disconnected. This seemed quite normal considering we are away from them. However there were two sides to this conversation. One was the disconnection we felt not being able to experience life together because of the distance and the other was a reminder of the lack of emotional intimacy which disconnects us to a more loving relationship we need in our life from those closest to us. For some, this has just always been the case so we gave suggestions on how we could relate a little more to those we needed in our life. 

3. Challenges

The challenges were interesting to share in our meeting. We focused more on the difficulty in relating to new people. Usually an image of a shy and timid person springs to mind when I think of those finding it difficult to relate to others but it is important to point out that even those of us who come across as outgoing and approachable can be hiding behind impulsive judgements and prejudices which hinder us from forming new bonds or developing the ones we already have. This is something we have all experienced and delved in to. If we think about these snapshots we take when meeting new people, these judgements/prejudices/first impressions can hinder anyone forming connections with others and possibly experiencing, evolving and forming a new perspective on the world. Yes, it gets that deep. 

We all have these judgements and it usually is an automatic response we have grown accustomed to. We see someone, take a snapshot of who we think they are and label them. Some of us do this more than others. The way we dress, look and how we hold ourselves can have a powerful affect on others. Having said that, once someone communicates and you begin ‘relating’ you tend to know whether this is a friendship for you. I like to think our intuition is a good source to guide us at this point. It was agreed that some of us have had to consciously give people the benefit of the doubt and not judge them so quickly based on appearances. Most of the times we have been pleasantly surprised. It is always good to consider that the way we perceive others and how we feel about ‘that type of person’ (i.e. the snapshot, judgement etc) may highlight something regarding ourselves.

Questioning Ourselves

Is there a need for us to work on the most important connection in our lives...the one with ourself before we can appreciate the connections we have with others?

For instance, if I do not understand my strengths, weaknesses, desires, experiences, moods, emotions and insecurities how on earth will I be able to display any sort of compassion, empathy or appreciation to my existing relationships? These are important qualities we need when relating to each other otherwise what connections are we actually creating and is this what we want? Obviously this all depends on what we want from our friendships/relationships.

We may need to think bigger and not be afraid to delve into unknown territory when meeting others. It doesn't mean these people will stay forever but they may show us something we have overlooked and surprise us.

4. Building deeper connections

When thinking about building deeper connections we all couldn't help but think about our other halves. They work long hours and after they have ‘me’ time life could go back to being ‘monotonous’ and the whole point in coming to the other side of the world was to experience something different, travel more etc.  So we came up with a few suggestions to connect with them and our friends more.

5. Actions for Happiness

1. Stay open to doing things and not be afraid of spontaneous fun

2. Plan for quality time to connect with loved ones such as meeting our partners once a week for lunch.

3. Plan a holiday

4. Organise a fun day/evening out with the guys/girls: rock climbing/skating

One member summed the actions up nicely. Relating is sometimes about...

'pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and building memories!'

Empowering Women to be Fearless

Some pics from our 'Empowering women to be fearless' workshop at Life By Design Consultancy.
Photographer: Maria Michel

xX Smile about it, laugh about it, cry about it, share it and then let it empower you. Xx

Sunday reminder: Happiness is...

Happiness is a way of life...so choose how it will look in yours.

Make choices today that bring a smile to your face, brings a lightness to your heart and a sense of 'it's all good' ;). 

Take a few minutes right now, close your eyes, breath deeply and remind yourself of what it is that gets you feeling fuzzy, happy and completely joyful right this second. Now...here is the bit we forget...Go do it, create it or recreate it! It is your life so stop waiting for anyone to come and give it to you. Happiness comes from within as we are all unique only you know what makes you happy. 

Have a lovely Sunday wherever you are, whatever stage you are in your life and know that everything is possible despite how we perceive our life or the world. It can be even better then it is right now. Know that and let happiness in. 

Always with Love xx

The Happiness Club, Singapore, 2015: Giving

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions"

Dalai Lama

After scrolling through my newsfeed I came across a post by Psychologies (the only magazine that I tend to buy). They had invited followers to create a happiness club and be part of what has been described as a social experiment to test Action for Happiness's 10 keys to happier living.

I thought, a happiness club? Why not? It sounds right up my street. Although I am on the other side of the world far away from friends who would join me (just so you know, I moved to Singapore a few months ago) it felt like a good opportunity to connect with those who I have met and get to know a few more people while putting what I have been trying to promote to the test.

In preparation for our first session and out of my need to make sure I understood what happiness meant to me I wanted to do a little recap. Sounds funny right? Surely, I know what it means, don't we all? 

Defining happiness

Merriam Websters Dictionary outlines the following definition for happiness.

• the state of being happy
• an experience that makes you happy

The Oxford dictionary also defines it as the 'state of being happy'.

Sounds about right. However I do wonder how many of us experience happy states. At times we see 'happy days/moments/years' as something that will be achieved in the future, when we get that perfect job, salary, house, partner, baby, holiday, car, dress etc. We may think happiness is just around the corner or when we reach a certain goal. How many of us realise and are aware of the happy moments we have now? Do we take them for granted?

Is being 'happy' every other day enough for us to say we are happy? 

How many happy moments do we even need to experience in order to be able to say "I have happiness in my life"? 

We can be happy one minute and sad the next so the state of being happy can be fleeting and based on whether the experiences are 'happy' ones. Is happiness constant or dependent on what is happening around us and to us? Or is happiness simply a state of mind which can be controlled? 

If this is the case, what can we do about it? Well we could recognise when we are not happy and find things to get us back to being in a happier state. But what happens when something traumatic occurs in our life...is this the exception? 

More than likely happiness is knowing that life has unhappy moments that need to run their course and does not mean we have failed in anyway. Surely there is happiness in knowing we do not need to have 'perfection'.

Maybe we just need to change the idea we have about happiness in to what makes us happy and stop comparing ourselves to the next 'happier' person.  


I am sure the philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson got it right when he said "Some pursue happiness - others create it". This is ultimately the purpose of The Happiness Club. It is about creating happiness using the 10 keys and seeing how affective they are. It will also be a lovely way to remind us of the happiness we already have in our lives. So our journey begins...

As a preliminary task and one we could always revisit I asked the group to write what happiness means to them. The task seems easy to do but surprisingly we found it difficult to pinpoint what it was that brought us happiness straight away. Here is our board of happiness so far. 

"Happiness is this" board

The Happiness Club launches with a cheesecake!

Our first session began well before it was meant to. My friend Maria came to teach me how to make her yummy cheese cake. She kindly gave up her afternoon (something we reminded her during the session as an example of her giving) to purchase ingredients and come over to mine so that we could make a cheese cake for the group to enjoy at the end of our session. 

There were 5 of us at our first session and because everyone came ahead of time there was no need to break the ice before I delved into reading the first article. Below are the questions we answered and a quick note on what we shared.

1. What have you done recently for others? How did it make you feel? 
As we searched our brains for a recent memory of 'giving' we realised that this is one of our problems, we forget what we do for others! Many of us simply do things and do not think about whether we are giving someone something or not. 

This is what eventually came up:
- volunteering for the Red Cross. 
- being part of a Mexican community project.
- helping a taxi driver reach his destination by showing him the way using google maps on her phone
- setting up an exhibition in Singapore to celebrate the works of artists in Barcelona
- taking time to make cheese cake for the group
- being understanding and giving to our partners who are working over time
- picking up a bag that had fallen for a man in need
- giving a friend your hairband to fix her broken flip flop 
- asking a girl looking lost if she needs help and walking her to her destination (it was a 15 minute walk!)

The member who mentioned this last example explained this had happened to her and she remembered feeling very grateful for the help. This made her sympathise with the girl she had helped.

I wonder whether this made her more inclined to help? Or would she of done this regardless whether or not someone did this for her? 

Do you find yourself thinking: They have helped me so I should do the same or because no one helps me I am not helping them? I guess it is something to think about.

Some of the acts of kindness above are extremely small and others serve a greater purpose. Either way the result of giving any of these things to another person brings a smile, laughter, a connection and a feeling of being cared for - all things that make us feel happy.

2. When have you felt resentful when you've been giving? Why was that, do you think? 
We thought of times when family/close friends have not appreciated our efforts of giving which left some feeling they had been betrayed.

Most of us are here because of our partners career so resentment could make its way to the surface if we feel our efforts and role are not being acknowledged. One way we have actually prevented it occurring and it turning into a big issue is by meeting up at least once a week to either exercise, explore the city or just hang out together. 

3. Can you remember the last time that someone gave to you unconditionally and how did that make you feel? 
Many of us thought of our parents. They have helped some of us professionally, doing favours constantly, being ready almost on demand to help us out. Others thought of how our partners have helped on days when we felt run down or frustrated despite their long day at work. 

4. How easy or difficult do you find it to ask for or receive help? 
We agreed that it was easier to accept help if it was being offered to us. Asking for help was a little bit more difficult due to past experiences we have had that involved asking for help which backfired on us. For instance, some people have lost friends after asking them for help, others experienced uncomfortable situations as those who said they would help became resentful. It has left a feeling that it is better to do things for yourself. 

5. Our 5 different ways to give easily
We found this difficult as what we came up with involved us interacting with others. Some of us spend time at home studying or working and the thought of having to give daily (that didn't involve our partners) may have sent anxiety levels rising. We imagined ourselves running outside looking for an elderly lady needing help crossing the road or jumping on the MRT and giving up a seat to someone only for them to dismiss us which would mean we would have to beg them to sit just so we could 'give' to someone!

We decided to set an achievable time scale such as giving weekly or monthly so that we do not have to change the group name to The (Un)happiness Club...now that would be just too sad. 

Here are our goals for this month!

The Happiness Club Goals: Giving
To recycle
To give to charity (either online, street donation or as a volunteer)
To greet our partner with a more positive attitude when they get home
To donate blood to the Red Cross
To practise small acts of kindness weekly (helping someone carry their shopping, walking across the road, giving up a seat, smiling more, being polite etc) 

You can also find this post and as well as others from here: 
https://lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk/users/3153-haris-tzortzis/posts/1749-the-happiness-club-singapore-2015-giving

Shine your light!

Believe in the crazy, weird, over excited, awkward, loud, shy, extrovert, introvert, funny, dry, chilled out, serious emotional, cool, badass woman that makes you unique!

You have a purpose my dear!

Shine your light!

_____________________________________

Although we like to define ourselves with the labels above we must remember that these are just labels, words which we place too much importance on. I am sure you have noticed that one week you may be the confident, outspoken one and the next, you may want to be a recluse? Or is that just me? ;)

Too many women fear that being a certain way is a bad thing. If you think it is and you want to change it, you can. It is your choice. 

We all put ourselves down, some more then others, comparing ourself to each other and setting a standard that does not exist. The only standard you have and should follow is the one you give yourself, the one that speaks true to you. What is yours?

All that matters is how you see yourself and what you are telling yourself. Are you being loving to the one person who will change your world? 

If not, then stop putting yourself down. I am sure others who know you will tell you that the quality which you think is not that great is actually what makes you so wonderful and YOU. 

Our potential is beyond our comprehension. As life unfolds and we are challenged, having to face our fears we see a new layer of ourselves come to light and we surprise ourselves with what we find. So stop worrying, be who you are today and tomorrow will come, a new day, a new way and always the possibility (if you want) for a transformed you.

The Woman who Knows

It was International Women's day yesterday and a lovely time to remember how far women have had to come in order for us to live the life we have today. It was a time to congratulate and praise women for their achievements and the role we play in each others life as well as acknowledge the support we receive from the men in our lives. It is also a time to raise awareness of issues women continue to face around the world today. Because there is always so much more that we can do.

Todays post can not cover all the above, but simply speak of The Woman who Knows, of what real beauty in a woman means to me and the sisterhood that we could create to help transform our communities.

Celebrating each other

Celebrating each other as the women we are can happen every day in our lives and when we look closely we will see that we are already surrounded by many positive connections which we take for granted. Awareness and gratitude of this will surely warm your heart. A conversation with a colleague or friend, a meal with the women in our family, a girly shopping trip, a contagious giggle, a shoulder to cry on, an encouraging smile. Sisterhood and connection is constant.

I have so many sisters in the world who are very different to me. It is not about us being the same but about us 'seeing' each other for who we are, loving and accepting one another and working with what wonderfulness we already have. When I think about sisterhood with more focus and for a greater good I instinctively know this can be powerful.

Women do not need to conform to an ideal that has been engineered by men. This is ridiculous. Women need to continue to connect with each other and acknowledge what is within their true nature. So let us make it clear in our heads...

Beauty and self-image

Beauty is not just the girl with the flat stomach, the good skin, the curved figure, the blonde or brunette, the long haired, the short haired, the trend setter, the girly girl, the popular girl, the career woman, the working mum, the western girl, the city girl, the white girl, the non-religious girl, the 'abled' girl or the young girl.

Beauty is all those girls BUT also the stay at home mum, the big girl, the shy one, the girl with bad skin, the loner, the gardener, the one who knits, the tomboy, the skateboarder, the engineer, the teacher, the plumber, the dancer, the scholar, the politician, the activist, the older one, the frail one, the 'weird' one, the vegan, the deaf girl, the blind girl, the Indian, Cambodian, Taiwanese, Chinese, Korean, Indonesian, Thai, Bengali, Pakistani, Mexican, Californian, Kazakstani, Croatian, Polish, German, Italian, Spanish, English, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, French, Swedish, Norwegian, Greek, Cypriot, Turkish, Kenyan, Ghanaian, Egyptian, Iranian, Jamaican, Nigerian, American, Brazilian, the hippie, the Muslim, the Christian, the Jew, the Hindu, the Buddhist, the Atheist... I think you get my point.

Beauty is YOU.

It is your smile, your walk, the way you laugh, the way you cry, your feelings, your expressions, what you say, how you say it, how you feel and what you do. It is your heart and soul. This is your essence, your real beauty. Believe in it and do not be afraid to share it. Women forget this. Well, we know how to share our outer beauty well because we live in a world that focuses only on that. Of course our bodies are these wonderful vessels which we should cherish but our minds are the most powerful part of us that needs to be expressed. It is with our mind that people connect with not our bodies, despite the hype we constantly see of the 'perfect' girl. An intelligent, strong, confident and inspiring woman is just that no matter what shape or form she comes in. 

No doubt, as do men, women love to feel accepted, loved, appreciated and adored. But sometimes we seek these things in the wrong places, often waiting for others to validate what we should know but have forgotten. 

The written piece below is for all of us who forget and who need reminding of what we and other women are about. It is for us to remember that whoever we are, whatever we look like, wherever we are from and whatever we believe in...

We are beauty. If we can see this in each other the world can be a more loving place. If others can see it, then great. Ultimately if you believe in it and feel your beauty this is all that really matters. You will naturally shine and you will be infectious!

This is an expression of how I felt a while back. It is for those who are not 'seen' in the work place, at home or in their communities for the amazing beings that they are. It is about our instinct, intuition, heart and spirit. It is about experiencing pain and overcoming it. The words flowed strongly at that time and think this is a good time to share it. 

--------------------------------------------

The Woman who Knows

The Woman who Knows can see the doubt, confusion and uncomfortable feeling you have in your eyes. She notices the coldness from your heart and wonders why you can not really see and feel what lies beneath her. You may not be able to see her beauty or achievements because you still have not lifted the veil of fear, pretentiousness, illusion and ignorance from your human eyes. But she knows that deep down you are love and you too have a desire to be that love. Yet you have forgotten what this means.

A real woman knows. She always knows because she can feel it. She is a lifeline, a peace giver, she is a protector who has been mistreated, misunderstood, mistaken and ridiculed. 

It is from her you once came. She deserves your respect. 

Honour her, 
                 her body and 
                               keep all women safe. 

Without women, the feminine nature may well be forgotten. If it is forgotten who will you come to for a helping hand, a creative idea. Where will you rest your head at night, feel the warmth of her love and hear the sweet words she mutters to you, soothing your soul. She is the encourager, the motivator, the reminder of all things feminine and the loving one. 

She is not ignorant to the fact that we are all on different paths learning lessons at different times so she encourages herself to leave it and let go of the frustration she feels sometimes when she notices that the opposite of love is being projected to her.

We are who we are, She is who she is, so you embrace it or not. If you do not, that is also fine. The truth is no woman needs others around her who can not see her essence. Ironically you remind her of who she truly is and who she does not want to be. 

The Woman who Knows has no need for you to like the authentic and strong person that she is because you may not be able to comprehend what it means to be mindful in this way. 

The Woman who Knows knows the journey she makes and values the whole of her being. She is not just the stories she tells herself. She is not just the image she projects to the world. She is more than this. She is a beautiful spirit entwined in this human experience. A woman's nature does not need to be tamed because it will always call to her, from her inner being, to rise up, to be who she was meant to be. 

The Woman who Knows stands strong in the wind, her hair flowing, becoming tangled symbolising the paths she had experienced previously. She is patient, she can do this, she has done it before, untangling the knots and untangling life's difficulties one at a time.

The Woman who Knows chooses to be herself because it creates happiness in her heart and for her loved ones. Her hope is always love for everyone. Only a bitter woman does not want goodness to shine through. Our true nature is not bitter. But sometimes we forget. Sometimes it may have gotten too much for us.

She knows the path can be hard and some people do not see her for what she is. Her potential is greatness and her essence is more beautiful than she can ever imagine. 

She is impenetrable, so stop trying to break her. It can never work. What a simple and elementary statement yet it is always surprising when others persist. Even when you see her laying on the ground, at her lowest, be sure she will rise up, be stronger and will walk away from those who can not see her for the rare diamond that she is. 

When you see her beauty and aching for the same realness and self love that inhabits her being then maybe you too will begin to know what The Woman who Knows has realised. 

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A sisterhood is already here, waiting to transform the world. To remind us that women do not need to be more of a 'man' to change the world, but they just need to be themselves, in this moment, to shine their light without fear and connect with each other positively. 

LOVE is the only way for great happiness to unfold daily in our lives. When there is no love there is no happiness. Women with women and women with men must work together, play together and love each other. Sisters, brothers, lovers and friends. Whatever your connection listen to each other, understand and respect the differences that lies in us all.Then move forward together to create a new breed of boys and girls who will become the men and women they were meant to be, real men and real women who will see each other with love, respect and deep admiration for their role and purpose here on this earth. 

No one said the journey will be easy, but it will be worth it.